War 2 - Mountain that broke my back.

War 2

Hindi - Action / Drama
172 mins
Netflix

Yash Raj Films, with Aditya Chopra at the helm, has long been one of the first proper big studios in the Hindi film industry. Interspersed with the Dhoom franchise, the studio has also given us writer-directors such as Shimit Amin (Chak De! India), Maneesh Sharma (Band Baaja Baaraat), and Siddharth Anand.

Unlimited resources, box office clout, exhibitor influence, and the ability to persuade top stars and directors to do their bidding is unmatched. Here they are, now floating in the cesspool of their own creation — arrogance, complacency, and the blind belief that everything they produce will succeed. I, for one, am glad about the muted box office response to War 2. It is about time.

War (2019) was a legitimately well-made spy movie that played to the strengths of its leads. It remains Tiger Shroff’s best outing as an action star (that introductory brawl still holds up), and Hrithik Roshan’s entry was the coolest (or hottest, depending on which way one sways) scene in any action film. The action was believable (with doubles of course), the plotting tight, and the film generally worked.

I enjoyed Pathaan as well, largely because it featured Shah Rukh Khan in a never before scene  proper, hard-hitting action (it came before Jawan, remember?). However, in hindsight, that was the beginning of YRF’s “more gloss, less grit” era. The scale increased, the substance diminished, and CGI (school grade!) became the new screenplay. The sequences that followed in Tiger 3 were abysmal.

The Review

Hrithik Roshan continues to be one of the most wasted talents in modern Bollywood, persistently choosing large-scale spectacles that resemble paid vacations rather than performances. He looks great, dances beautifully (although that too is becoming repetitive) — one could easily swap Fighter or War's song with Aawan Jaawan here and no one would notice the difference.

NTR Jr, on the other hand, can be forgiven for signing on. The money is attractive, and the exposure even more valuable. He is solid, receives sufficient screen time, even gets a lively Telugu introduction song (Shaitaan). Yet War 2 squanders a golden opportunity to pit these two stars against each other in a film with a real script, that what seems to have been scribbled on a napkin during a lunch break.

Abbas Tyrewala — the sharp mind behind Jaane Tu… Ya Jaane Na — seems stuck in a time warp. Lines such as “Tune mujhe dhoka diya”, "mera dil toda" are unintentionally hilarious. Aditya Chopra taking “story” credit here only worsens matters; at this rate, his name is becoming shorthand for “idea-free filmmaking.”

YRF must stop assigning interns to write first drafts and these veterans need the creative break.

Ek Tha Tiger, where Kabir Khan managed to create a genuinely watchable spy film even with Salman Khan (and all his cinematic baggage) in the lead. That movie had a pulse, a plot, and a sense of style. War 2, in contrast, has filters, drones, and an unlimited greenscreen subscription. The action looks so artificial that one can almost hear the CGI servers overheating.

The camaraderie between Hrithik and NTR Jr borders on "Brokeback Mountain" energy — They way they hold each other, vulnerable smouldering and quivering lips, leaving you waiting for that moment....and maybe that may have made this movie more relevant!

What is with the names? If Vikram can become Raghu, can Kabir not be something other than Kaboo? Babloo, perhaps? Kaboo sounds like a rejected Pokémon.

Vikram is working from his Delhi home when he receives an Instagram message from Kabir to meet somewhere. In the very next scene, they are suddenly in Spain, drinking before their “big dance-off.”

The choreographer clearly did not do adequate homework on Jr NTR’s skills — or perhaps struggled to reconcile Hrithik’s polished style with NTR’s raw energy. The result is as thanda as the Mountain Dew Hrithik promotes. It is such a meh song as well, only after seeing the lyrics i found the chorus goes  "Tripping High" while it sounds more like " Friggin' why why why" :)

Kiara Advani contributes her usual “empowered YRF heroine” beats — size-zero figure, bikini shots, one major dialogue about agency, and then… 

That song, incidentally, is set fifteen years in the past. Astonishingly, Kiara does not age a day, while Hrithik merely adds three grey strands of hair.

Continuity is laughable. The younger Raghu speaks perfect Hindi, while the older Vikram Chalapathi sounds as if he learned it on Duolingo. How exactly did Raghu join RAW? Oh right — conveniently.

War 2 feels hopelessly trapped in a time warp. Despite the exotic locations, the action remains confined to green screens and VFX work. That Airplane sequence or the Powerboat thing in Dubai are such a sham - It seems as if most of the budget was spent on accommodation at a winery in Tuscany.

Epilogue

Frankly, not only this so-called “Spy Universe” but most major studios need a creative reset. Hopefully, the cold box office response will push YRF (and others) to reconsider their approach — reduce star fees, hire new and capable writers, bring back directors who can tell stories rather than only shoot drone footage.

Siddharth Anand, for all his glossy excess, was far better suited to this kind of cinema than Ayan Mukerji, who clearly demonstrates that even the mildly decent Brahmāstra (childish dialogues notwithstanding) was beyond his natural storytelling zone.

And the next one - Alpha has  Two female leads — Alia Bhatt and Sharvari. Expect more dance-offs, more size-zero frames (or maybe both together!),  one defiant dialogue about independence, and… fade to CGI.